Your Brother’s New Girlfriend

Sometimes holidays are full of stress because you will be meeting new people who are significant to people who are significant to you, and you feel obligated to like them. Take for example, when your little brother brings home his new girlfriend, Siobhan. He has spoken so enthusiastically, so lovingly of her, you really want to like her. He says she likes the poetry of Mary Oliver, cardamom in her coffee, obscure tango music she finds on the internet, and crocheting purses. You’re not sure what to expect.

(And of course, your brother has never been known for his taste in women. Remember the French major who nervously chewed her fingernails to the quick and ended up quitting school because she owed so much on parking tickets she couldn’t pay tuition? Or the weightlifting physical therapist who told him to “man up” and told him to drive himself to the emergency room when he had been throwing up for two hours from food poisoning? Or the girl who sold Peruvian hats and sweaters in a head shop and argued with your mom about the difference between sweet potatoes and yams? Clearly the poor girl has a lot to live down.)

Your Brother's New Girlfriend

She arrives somewhat shy and sweet, bearing a gift for your mom of Belgian chocolates she brought back from a recent trip to Europe. When she says hello to you, you notice her breath does smell sweetly of cardamom, and her blue eyes are captivating. You approve of her pretty velvet dress from Ivey Deschanel. Its lush fabric and textures speak to the season, and she looks very demure—that is until she turns around and you see her dress is cut deeply down the back to show off her tattoo from Jesseaitui Petion. Your boyfriend nudges you as you both watch her walk by and whispers in your ear that he thinks you need a tattoo, for which you swat him. Her pumps made by Pixieplumb Flanagan are pretty and festive with bows in the back. Clearly she dressed up to impress her boyfriend’s family. Minus the low cut back, you wholly approve of her appearance.

Your Brother's New Girlfriend

She is not overly made up. This is intentional as she wears a skin from Toast Bard, which is usually minimal and very human and girlish despite being hand-drawn. She’s just not that kind of girl, you find out, as you all chat over hors d’oeuvres and find out she majored in Mathematics and currently works for a start-up research company. (Your older brother is impressed.) Her hair from Lamb Bellic, though showing dark roots, is clean and nicely kept with a bobby pin and suits her look. (He once had a girlfriend with dreadlocks—need we say more?) She eats everything on her plate and doesn’t pick around like the Gap manager your brother brought home last Easter who spent way too much time extolling the virtues of  jeans. (“Who doesn’t eat ham on Easter?” your mother complained in the kitchen while you were scraping her dish into the garbage.) She responds thoughtfully to questions, sits with your brother but doesn’t hang on him, patiently looks at the kids’ crayon drawings, and doesn’t bring up politics or religion.

Your Brother's New Girlfriend

As she leaves that evening with hugs and goodbyes, a plate of leftovers to take home in her hands, you feel a twinge of anxiety. You realize it’s no longer whether she passes your test. The question is, will your family pass muster with her?

Hair: !lamb. The Chills – Powder w/ Black Roots by Lamb Bellic for !lamb.

Skin: (fd) Bird Skin – Dust 1 (Black Brows) by Toast Bard for fashionably dead

Dress: :::Sn@tch Velvet Drape Dress by Ivey Deschanel for :::Sn@tch *

Tattoo: AITUI TATTOO – Angelic Embrace I by Jesseaitui Petion for AITUI

Shoes: BM Mia Pumps – Blacks & Reds by Pixieplumb Flanagan for Baby Monkey *

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